Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Comment on group 7

Comment on group 7:

I agree with your definition of a hero. Heroes do not necessarily have to be like those in comics that always jump out of nowhere to save the day; they do not even have to have special abilities or anything a hero just has to make the world a better place. Having a good definition is the first step to good persuasion, however your post is too long and most people would probably lose interest and give up after seeing its length. You could simplify the post by removing unnecessary information and rephrasing some long sentences. You could also remove all the long detailed information which is probably redundant and replace them with some interesting facts and figures. You could also add links to some videos as it would make it more interesting and also helps the reader visualize the hero better further enhancing the purpose of this blog post. In general, it is a very elaborate and detailed description of General Templar, except for some flaws. As they say, nothing is perfect, so work harder and strive to create better productions.

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